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What to Expect | Origins | SuperVision | About Us | ||
This page is dedicated to our clients, who taught us most of what we know! If this page helps you ... please tell us.
This page is dedicated to our clients, who taught us most of what we know! If this page helps you ... please tell us. | |||||||||||||
Mostly we coach people to solve partnership and team problems and improve their relationships, and sometimes we help couples and teams separate peacefully. Separating people often follow predictable steps as they cope with their relationship breakdown. (See also Divorce Coaching). People who find that separation is terribly stressful rarely know how to say Goodbye. Some people, especially those who felt abandoned or rejected as children, may feel stuck for years! We coach people to evaluate, change and end inappropriate relationships ... as mature adults.
It's not a question of willpower, its a question of congruence. Do all parts of you want to say Goodbye? (Probably not, or you wouldn't be reading this!) Maybe some parts of you still love, or are entangled with the person you are leaving. We can help you find emotional freedom and move on with your life. Healthy Partnership - or Crisis?In Western countries, over half of first marriages end in divorce, and even more second marriages or subsequent partnerships end with separation. Ignoring partnership problems is unhealthy and expensive. You can learn some common signs of a partnership in crisis ... and wake up!
Where are healthy role models for saying "Goodbye"? Many people try to copy shallow television or movie role models for ending relationships. Many people repeat the drama of their separated parents, relatives and friends. Some clever people get coaching. What results would you prefer? Say "Goodbye" with DignitySome people not only lack training and experience in partnership, they hardly suspect that partnership skills exist. They consider happy couples to be lucky and unhappy couples are unlucky.
Most relationship problems seem to begin long before a partnership! Not only do many people lack training, they carry unresolved issues from childhood and past disappointments ... emotional baggage. Unresolved emotional baggage can sabotage your present and future happiness! If you are considering ending an intimate relationship or partnership, especially with someone you still have strong feelings for, it doesn't have to be so unpleasant. Some of your questions may include:
Avoid saying “It’s me, not you” during a break-up. Although this may seem easier than telling someone that he or she is inappropriate or immature, it is better to be honest. If you allow the other person to understand who you are and what you want, and you will likely feel more mature and confident later. Avoid blaming the other person ... or yourself. Try to be truthful, tactful ... and blunt. Remember your reasons for leaving this person. Answer questions and explain clearly if the other doesn’t seem to get it. Remain strong and resolute - avoid emotional blackmail or using guilt to get what you want. Infatuation and DisenchantmentUnlike love, infatuation reaches a peak and then diminishes. Reality intrudes when a couple must make ordinary, everyday decisions. Although love can grow as partners fulfill responsibilities together, romantic fantasies are usually threatened by daily chores, and infatuation can be replaced by boredom.
Complaining and NaggingAs many communication problems begin with attempts to control people, motivation to separate often concerns complaints, conflicts and arguments. While all couples disagree sometimes, healthy partners can resolve their conflicts quickly or benefit from our coaching. Many people focus on their logic or the emotional impact of their arguments - rather than on seeking solutions that increase intimacy.
Separation ... What can you learn? How can you benefit?You expose your emotional maturity whenever you communicate. Do you criticize your ex-partner? Do you complain about your ex to anyone who might listen? Do you try to punish your ex-partner - perhaps limiting access to children, money or other resources? How you behave during and after separation will likely set a pattern for your next relationship! After separation, mature adults often choose a relationship-free period; dependent people quickly jump into new relationships; and immature adults obsess about revenge and punishment. A failed partnership does not mean that either partner is a failure. We help people build better relationships!
Online Coaching for Separating Couples and Teams Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, All rights reserved 2008-2012 |
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