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We offer coaching and training on relationship happiness,
resolving family chaos and sorting out many issues of sexuality.
Sex & Motivation
Human motivation and creativity profoundly reflect human
sexuality. We help people become emotionally
mature, find healthy partners, become good parents, protect children and
assist children to become independent. We also coach parents and other adults
to unblock their creativity and sexuality.
As sexuality reaches almost every part of life, any issue
connected to sexuality will likely generate emotional and political controversy.
Also, while pornography and masturbation are often called victimless crimes,
we find that the victims of pornography are the partners and future children
of sex addicts; the wives and children who will later find themselves burdened with
sexual blocks.
Repression predates Obsession
After millennia of sexual repression, many people are obsessed with sex, and
express their sexuality chaotically. For us, sexual obsessions include
attempts to control the sexual expressions of other people. People who
can control your sexual behavior - can control your life.
Sex is often a forbidden obsession. Murder, robbery, pollution, corruption
and wasted essential resources are common themes for TV and cinema for young
audiences, while some obsessed people strive to censor and control
other people's expressions of human sexuality.
The hypocrisy can be stunning. An exposed female breast during a football
game can outrage the nation that creates most of the world's pornography ... a nation
in which carrying guns is legal and where murder is acceptable children's
television viewing.
In emotional climates in which children cannot discuss and assimilate
thoughts, emotions and motivations about sex, those children often have to deal
with sexual obsessions during and following adolescence. The possibility
of delayed sexual dysfunction is high for children who have been taught to
associate sexual thoughts or behavior with dirtiness, guilt, punishment or
disgrace.
Systemic Solutions
Sexual pleasure is or will become an important topic to you and to
those people with whom you share significant relationships. Your sexuality ...
including trying to ignore it ... will have enormous impact on your
self-image and on your family.
As any physical, psychological or emotional changes affect your
relationships, our coaching often includes helping people deal with:
- Sexual Abuse
- Sexual Harassment by Health Professionals
- Sexual Dysfunction:
Impotence and Frigidity
We describe solutions for other sexual health issues at
Sexual
Solutions. We also offer pre-abortion and post-abortion coaching to help
people avoid the consequences of abortion and
vanishing twins.
Relationship Diagnosis & Sexual Addictions
Our relationship diagnosis is useful for identifying and resolving sexual
addictions. Many sexual issues involve obsessions - often to childhood fantasies
about parents and family members, about unrequited love and about past-partners.
We find that many sexual problems are based in
covert emotional incest.
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I am 64 and never married. You asked
me if I was ever in love, and I told you about my teenage romance. You asked me
if I had ever let go of that girl - and no I never did. I always feel her
in my arms - always beautiful - always wanting to play. I was shocked to
realize that holding her memory has stopped me building relationships with real women.
Chicago, USA |
Some adults cling to fantasies from adolescence or early
adulthood ... and we often find that these fantasies can damage later relationships. We can help people dissolve old fantasies and refocus on their
current or potential sexual partners.
What is Sex Addiction?
Casual behavior becomes an addiction if you repeat an activity without control,
even when you suffer unpleasant consequences. Sexual addiction can include:
excessive masturbation, internet pornography, using prostitutes, voyeurism,
exhibitionism, multiple sexual affairs, serial relationships, and controlling
other people's sexual behavior.
Do you use sexuality as an escape from boredom or as a way to
feel good? Sex can become an attempt to compensate for pain and feeling
unworthy. Over time, sexual behavior may show the damaging consequences of
addiction: preoccupation, compulsive behavior, despair and
depression.
Are you a Sex Addict?
Has your work, education or relationships suffered
because of your sexual fantasies or activities? Do you live a double life?
Some signs are:
- Do you keep secrets about your sexuality from people you love?
- Do you feel compelled to have sex repeatedly in a
short time frame?
- Can you stop your sexual behavior if there are unpleasant
consequences?
- Do you spend inordinate time obtaining sex, being sexual or
recovering from sex?
- Do you want to get away from a sex partner after sex?
Do you feel shame or guilt?
We help people change destructive sexual urges and find healthier ways to
enjoy life. We help people change sexual compulsions and addictions -
rapidly and usually with humor.
Sexual Harassment at Work
Sexuality in the workplace is a touchy subject, and the number of
lawsuits concerning sexual harassment appear to be increasing.
We offer Team Coaching at the workplace or at retreats
where teams can be together with minimal disturbances. It can be cost-effective
to invite one of us to join an annual meeting or conference. We can
offer a package of short workshops, team coaching and individual sessions
over a few days.
Lesbians, Bisexual and Gay
Most women seek non-sexual intimate relationships with other women, and some
women strive to fulfill their emotional needs and sexual desires through
other women. And some women regularly fantasize homosexual activity but do
not act upon of follow through with their desires.
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I taught a few psychology classes at University of
Nevada in Las Vegas. While there, I met people with sexual preferences that I
had heard of ... and some that I had never heard of. Overall, I met some
fascinating people, and now it takes a lot more to surprise me. Martyn |
Some men seek other men for sexual pleasure. We have seen this
start as a search for a substitute father, a missing brother or
vanishing twin ... and / or to
avoid dark entanglements with mothers.
Homosexual men are increasingly coming out of their closets, which
can distress some people.
We have not met any homosexual people who wanted
to change their sexual orientation to heterosexual. Like most adults, they are
usually seeking a sense of wholeness within relationships and choose people of
their own sex. But human couples have predictable problems, regardless of their
sexual orientation ... we offer individual coaching for gay people and
couple coaching for gay couples.
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My daughter is lesbian and I don't know what
I can do. How can I make her change?
I can't tell people that I have a lesbian daughter ... they would blame me.
London, UK |
While very few people, gay, straight or bi, want to change their sexual
orientation, we help people redefine their relationships with their
parents, siblings, children, etc ... and with other adults.
Couple Coaching
During our offer individual and couple coaching where we help people to
dissolve emotional, relationship and sexual problems. We don't criticize or give unwanted advice on your sexual choices - unless you
hurt children - rather we help people resolve emotional blocks and relationship issues.
The
stages of sexual arousal typically begin with flirtation and romance. Without
romantic verbal foreplay, any sexual foreplay may be rebuffed - or sex may
become businesslike, without romance or intimacy, which some people prefer. Each
stage of sexual arousal may be disturbed - internally (by feelings and self-talk)
or externally (by distractions).
You need not feel alone as you seek your way through a sexual labyrinth. Sex
is an essential part of human relationships - one that has been terribly distorted
for centuries. When you are ready, we can help you develop your emotional maturity
and better relationships.
Consult your physician about
any opinions or recommendations concerning sexual health, medical symptoms
or medical conditions.
Online
Coaching
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2004-2012
All rights reserved |
