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Summary

Controlling Weight to Gain Health
Filling the Inner Emptiness © Martyn Carruthers

Online Coaching

Some people say that weight loss is easy - just consume less energy than you expend. But weight control is not so easy. Weight reflects your caloric intake - and your exercise, emotions, lifestyle and relationships. Your weight also reflects the success of a multi-billion dollar junk food industry.

Weight-ing for Health?

Body weight is a form of communication. Underweight, overweight or obese often communicates messages that people do not or cannot otherwise express. See me! Love me!, Help me!, Avoid me! are common examples of communication-by-weight. Your body weight indicates much more than diet.

If you do not express your feelings, you may overeat instead. (Overeating sweet food seems especially common amongst people who, as children, were rewarded with candies and chocolate by their parents.)

Many weight issues have emotional benefits that outweigh the health costs. Being overweight often signals emotional and relationship issues. See Eating Disorders and Obsessions & Compulsions.

Does a relationship or family crisis change your eating habits? Do you respond to family problems or a relationship crisis with binge-eating or with self-imposed starvation, especially if you feel guilt or depression. Or do you respond to weight changes with a relationship crisis? You are not alone.

Weight & Compliance

Overweight and underweight is often the result of manipulation - by sales pitches, the media, friends, colleagues and family members. Are you subtly pressured to eat? Do you eat when you are not hungry? Do you eat to please others?

• "If you don't eat this I will throw it away!"
• "I made this just for you, so you must eat it."
• "If you don't eat this - it means you don't love me"

A common feature of codependent relationships is that one person may control another person's access to resources (e.g. money, transportation, medication) or to addictive substances (e.g. cigarettes, alcohol, illegal drugs) ... or to food.

Sexual Issues & Weight Loss

Happily married women gain an average of about 6 kilo (14 pounds) during 12 years of marriage, while unhappily married women gain about 20 kilo (42 pounds) in the same time. (Davis 1987)

A study found that 35% of female patients indicated that being overweight decreased their husband's jealousy, or reduced their own fear of having an affair (Felitti 1993). Another study found that husbands may become anxious about their wives' weight loss (Neil, Marshall and Yale 1978).

Sexual Issues . Sexual Solutions

Boundary Issues & Weight Loss

Boundary issues concern limits, rules, power games and victimization - although much boundary behavior is either unconscious or semi-consciously decided. Body weight is often used to either avoid being victimized and / or to victimize others. Examples are:

• You eat to feel full - not to satisfy hunger
• Your parents expressed love primarily as food
• You never learned to say "No!" to offered food
• You or your partner become overweight to test each other's love
• You or your partner become overweight to avoid sexual intimacy
• Your parents believed that "overweight = healthy" and "healthy weight = too thin"

Our online coaching can help you control your desire to eat by changing your boundaries; this may include resolving old emotional and relationship issues.

Weight Loss Strategies

Moving from an unhealthy weight to a healthy weight is not easy, fast nor convenient! In Western countries, refined starches and processed fats are so cheap and commonly available that if you insist on easy food - if you insist on fast food - and if you insist on convenient food - you may become overweight, or even get fatter! If you really want to lose weight, make your weight loss a real priority.

Assume that food companies want you to eat refined starches and processed fats. Assume that your government is powerless to stop them. Assume that you are the victim of years of psychological marketing and promotion and - probably - parental brainwashing. Assume that common diets will cause common health problems and common deaths (see hypertension.)

You are not alone. We can help you dissolve emotional entanglements and relationship
bonds that motivate eating disorders or prolong obesity.

We avoid foods with hydrolyzed vegetable starches (often called high fructose corn syrup or HFCS). HFCS doesn't exist in nature. It is nearly impossible to avoid it completely as it is commonly used to increase the sales of processed foods that would be otherwise tasteless. Some scientists claim that HFCS does not trigger a sense of fullness, and is a leading cause of obesity.

... unless you're making a concerted effort to avoid it,
it's difficult to consume high-fructose corn syrup in moderation —Time Magazine

It's important to pay attention - not only to what you put into your mouth, but to how you feel later. Thirty other strategies to help you lose weight are:

1. Talk to your doctor
2. Avoid canned drinks
3. Eat fruit twice each day
4. Sit down at a table to eat
5. Eat more green vegetables
6. Walk when you're stressed
7. Keep a food diary or journal
8. Avoid anything in a cereal box
9. Avoid junk food as if it is poison!
10. Eat less meats and refined starches
11. Have a sweet treat only once a week
12. Drink many glasses of water each day
13. Eat more fiber with fruits and vegetables
14. Keep healthful snacks at home and at work
15. Exercise or walk most days for 1 to 2 hours
16. Forgive yourself - and make healthier choices
17. Do not eat while reading or watching television
18. Shop for food after eating, using shopping lists
19. Forget fast results. Healthy weight loss is slow!
20. Eat slowly - make meals last at least 20 minutes
21. Eat fresh fruits and raw or lightly cooked vegetables
22. Eat three meals and two or three planned snacks daily
23. Minimize fat by baking, grilling, broiling, roasting or steaming
24. Cook with a clear broth, nonstick cooking spray, wine or water
25. Avoid food with added sugar (sucrose, fructose corn syrup, etc)
26. Ask your friends and family to support your efforts to be healthy
27. Aerobic exercise: a minimum of 30 minutes three times a week
28. Alcohol stimulates appetite, slows metabolism and is full of calories!
29. Stop eating before you feel full. Within 20 minutes you should feel fine
30. Eat regular meals to increase your metabolism and burn more calories

Finally, meditation can affect your brain and provide an effective way to substantially reduce cravings, hunger and pain without drugs or medications. Add mindfulness to your daily diet!

Consult your physician about any opinions or recommendations about weight or medical conditions.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002-2012 All rights reserved.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2012 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers
to help people dissolve emotional blocks, improve relationships and achieve goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... ask for permission to post, publish or teach this work.