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If you are stuck in emotional depression you may have little
sense of direction.
Depression can be a strong warning to assess your lifestyle and life choices.
Depression can be a time for you to evaluate,
"What makes sense in my life?"
Many people attempt to use drugs as a substitute for improving
their lives. Alcohol, nicotine, anti-depressants and stimulants are easier than
applying intelligence, focus and analytical skills to unpleasant emotions and
complex relationships. Such decisions have consequences.
Consequences of Depression
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If you feel depressed for
more than a few days, we recommend
that you talk to a medical doctor or psychologist, especially
if you consider harming yourself or others.
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Depression is part of life! Chronic depression
affects about 10% of the world population with about three million
depressed men in England alone. We find that common causes of
depression are not an economic crisis or financial recession so much as
unhealthy relationships and life without meaning.
If you have healthy relationships and a sense of
purpose - an economic crisis or recession is just more problems to solve!
If you feel anxiety about your family or worried about
ageing, sex and thinning hair, it's easier to blame some external crisis or
recession for limiting your enjoyment of life.
Depression is also associated with
food allergies,
limiting beliefs,
stress,
codependence,
addiction, living alone, relationship breakdown
and relationship entanglements. There are solutions for
each of these, once you know what are your real issues.
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Depression is the inability to
construct a future
Rollo May |
Depression is often a reminder that
something is missing in your life,
or that you have abused or mistreated important people.
Martyn Carruthers
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Depression reduces the quality and sense of life, and
often originates in the early family. Depression often starts as isolation, or in dependent,
symbiotic or dysfunctional relationships. Relationship
problems require relationship solutions (and drugs often seem to delay a
search for solutions).
We find that depressed women are more likely to seek help,
while depressed men of any age appear more likely to self-medicate
with alcohol or nicotine, or obsessively distract themselves with television,
pornography, internet surfing or gambling. (Fewer men than women seem able
to talk about their feelings or seek help when they need it.)
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Often depression makes sense
- depression can motivate a search for meaning.
Does your life make sense? o you enjoy ...
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- intimate partnership
- strong supportive beliefs
- a sense of connection to life
- you know what is important
- motivation to achieve a vision
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- a sense of purpose or mission
- healthy mind in a healthy body
- your place within your community
- transpersonal sense of connectedness
- nurturing children / projects
to independence
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You can prevent or remedy depression - or you can deal
with its consequences. We help people build better relationships, plan
their lives, exercise, enjoy sleep and benefit from healthy diets. People
facing alcohol or drug addictions can also seek drug
treatment and recovery programs.
Depression & Drugs
The manufacture and sale of anti-depressants is a multi-billion
dollar industry. Although the most common anti-depressants may be alcohol and
nicotine, trying to manage depression with addictive prescription drugs may
have consequences
worse than depression. Many prescription anti-depressants are addictive and have
unpleasant side effects, especially with
older people.
The more expensive anti-depressant drugs are SSRI -
selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors such as Zoloft,
Prozac or Paxil. These drugs increase serotonin in the brain.
Many older and cheaper anti-depressants include MAOI or MonoAmine
Oxidase Inhibitors, with worse side effects. MAO inhibitors such as Nardil,
Parnate and Marplan may be prescribed if other medications don't work.
Symptoms of Depression
People who feel depressed often describe unpleasant moods,
thoughts and self-image. They may have difficulty
making decisions - the day-to-day tasks of paying bills, caring for
children, meeting people, housework and telephone calls may seem overwhelming.
Check these symptoms ...
- Preoccupied with death or suicide
- Insomnia and/or major sleep changes
- Appetite and/or major weight changes
- Decreased energy, fatigue - always tired
- Feeling hopeless, helpless or pessimistic
- Feeling guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
- Loss of interest or pleasure in work or profession
- Little pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed
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Sadness, anxiety, emptiness, restless and irritable
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Little interest or pleasure in romance or sexual activity
If you suffer symptoms of depression most days for a few weeks;
or if your symptoms interfere with important daily tasks,
your sleep or your social life; please consider finding professional help:
Depression, Disease & Guilt
Depression seems to be a normal response to unhealthy relationships. People
at higher risk of chronic depression include those suffering from
codependence or
mental illness.
The most common issues underlying chronic
depression seem to be guilt and shame, for example if
you:
- abused, traumatized or tortured someone
- were abused by someone but you blame yourself
- blame yourself for some misfortune to yourself or to others
- betrayed or abandoned someone important (e.g.
abandoning a child)
- mistake relationship types (e.g. perceiving a partner as a child;
or a parent as a partner)
Managing Guilt & Shame
People who try to withhold emotions will sooner or
later express them; either internally as body symptoms or externally as
relationship events. Depression often seems to result from withholding
guilt. This withheld guilt may reflect regret for abuse, abandonment, betrayal,
etc - or guilt may result from transference,
following, for example, parental alienation,
sexual abuse or
emotional incest.
Guilt, shame and depression can ruin relationships, and may
result from installed guilt that was used by families (or organizations)
to control their members. While this is a topic for another article, a common
situation are adult children who do not allow themselves to be happier than
their parents. (This seems particularly common in families that hide toxic
family secrets).
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You asked me if it was OK
for me to be happier than my mother.
I realized that whenever I feel really happy, I do stupid
things to upset
my husband. Then I don't feel so guilty about my mother's depression. |
If unassimilated guilt and shame is experienced as
depression, and unresolved depression may result in chronic relationship
problems, nervous breakdown or
suicide attempts. Long-term solutions for
depression seem to require
that people who have hurt others clarify and balance this hurt, and that
they change any damaging relationship enmeshments
(see emotional maturity.) People facing
alcoholism or drug addiction can seek a rehab center to gain sobriety and
overcome these addictions.
Many people seem to try to control guilt and depression with
distractions (e.g. TV, sex, gambling, etc), psychoactive medications
(including nicotine, alcohol and caffeine) and dissociation (withdrawal,
self-hypnosis and meditation). Such control is usually short-term;
continued use of drugs or other distractions may result in obsessions and
addictions - without resolving the underlying depression.
Electroconvulsive Therapy (Electroshock - ECT)
Electroconvulsive therapy
(Electroshock)
is passing an electric current through a human brain to cause a convulsion.
Electroshock is used on people with depression, mania and sometimes
schizophrenia, especially people who do not respond well to,
or abreact to, medication. (ECT seems to be an attempt to delete difficult
memories rather than to help people assimilate and learn from them ... Martyn).
The side effects of ECT include electrocution, brain
damage, nausea and headaches, memory loss, distractibility, difficulty
with multiple tasks, and trouble with arithmetic and complex language.
Solutions for Depression: Wisdom & Integrity
Intelligence is not wisdom. Intelligent people may feel
depressed if they cannot find effective solutions for problems or trends that
less intelligent people do not notice. (Also, sensitive people may
feel depressed by incidents that less sensitive people consider irrelevant or foolish.)
Talking to good friends about why you feel
depressed is emotional first aid. Healthy companions, healthy
food and healthy exercise always make sense. Focus on what you
like that is around you. Take walks in a parks or natural places.
Practice gratitude for small things and explore
what makes sense in your life. Allow depression to mature into compassion!
We offer safe, supportive meetings in which
you can explore and change underlying habits, rather than relying on
antidepressants. We can help you manage your
emotions and build better relationships.
Online Coaching & Mentorship for
Depression
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © 2001-2012
by Martyn Carruthers. All rights reserved. |
