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Summary

Suicide & Suicidal People

Online Coaching for Emotional and Relationship Issues

We do not seek suicidal clients and we lack specialty training in suicide.
I wrote this for people who may occasionally encounter suicidal people.

If a person hints that he or she may suicide, promptly refer that person to an appropriate health professional. Perhaps telephone a health professional yourself, introduce yourself and give the telephone to the maybe-suicidal person. (Telephone a suicide hot-line or the police or a hospital if you don't know or can't find a health professional)

History of Suicide

In ancient Egypt, suicide was considered a humane way to escape intolerable conditions. However the Roman government outlawed suicide, with threats of eternal torture. As Roman emperors were also gods, imperial Roman law was both secular and religious. Many Roman laws were integrated into Judaism, Christianity and Islam, threatening suicidal slaves with everlasting punishment.

Until recently, suicide attempts were punishable by both religious and criminal law in many countries. Although most criminal penalties for attempting suicide have been abolished, at least in the West, many governments prohibit anyone from assisting people who want to die.

The true number of suicides may be higher than official figures. Many suicides are described as misadventure, accidental drug overdoses or a result of schizophrenia or depression. This contrasts with military organizations and prisons, where deaths by violence may be reported as suicide to reduce workload, blame and publicity.

Suicide in Human Relationship Systems

Men are more likely to kill themselves than women in every age group, especially among the elderly. About 85% of suicides are men over 65, and even higher for divorced men. In America, suicide is the second leading cause of death in adults aged 15-24. As a profession, doctors seem to have the highest suicide rate. (American men use a gun about 80% of the time, and American women 40%.)

Some suicidal people seem to act out the life-drama of suicidal relatives. If a parent or grand-parent committed suicide, a descendent may unconsciously identify with that family member, and try to relive that ancestor's life ... and death. We help people resolve such relationship enmeshments (e.g. identification with a dead person) and other problematic relationships.

When we explore the consequences of suicide in a family, we often find:

• at least one family member may be overcome by grief or guilt
• a baby soon dies - perhaps as a miscarriage, stillborn or crib-death (cot death)
• a grand-child becomes suicidal (often at the same age as the ancestor's suicide)

Attempted suicide and suicide threats may have similar consequences. It seems that descendents can inherit emotional and relationship disturbances - not genetically but systemically. In particular, we notice that the eldest child (especially if he or she was an infant at the time of the suicide) seems more likely to take on this terrible burden.

It is often rather easy to recognize people who have emotionally identified with a dead person. The signs of dead person identification usually include melancholy and obsessions with death and dying. Identified people may enjoy visiting cemeteries and places where people suffered and died. They may consider themselves psychic and claim to channel spiritual entities or dead people.

Ghosts . Dead Person Identification . Grief

Intelligence and Suicide

Intelligence may not always be a survival trait. Less intelligent people may persevere where more intelligent people give up. I suspect that intelligent people are more likely to suicide if their lives lack sense. This seems especially true for people who are detached from their families and communities ... people with few relationships that inspire hope and effort.

Euthanasia: Assisted Suicide

Some people request assistance to end their suffering by voluntary death, and some countries seek to legalize assisted suicide for the terminally ill. Euthanasia is now available in America in Oregon and Colombia, and in Holland; and Switzerland does not label assisted suicide as a crime. In most countries however, Roman laws remain - people are state property and people who consider damaging state property must be criminal, insane or damned.

Meaning of Life

A decision to murder oneself may reflect a conclusion that "continued life does not make sense". Although decisions to suicide may be made as under the influence of pain, depression, disease or drugs; emotions such as guilt, anger, sadness and fear may play a strong role ... also following a lasting lack of emotions (identity loss)

• Anger or rage about violated values
• Fear or anxiety about future suffering
• Guilt or shame about having harmed people
• Sadness or melancholy about lost opportunities
• A chronic sense of emptiness or hollow relationships

Suicidal thoughts may be a basis for a diagnosis of depression, which can lead to prescriptions of psychoactive drugs. Suicidal thoughts may also follow a diagnosis of psychosis, bipolar disorder or during strong buried or hidden emotions that were triggered by some event or crisis.

Suicide & Sense of Life

A person who lacks close or meaningful relationships and has no sense of life purpose, may be a suicide risk, even if the person is physically healthy and has material success. A meaningless life seems also connected to addictions and depression. If life seems to lack sense, or if death seems to make more sense than life, then suicide may appear to be a solution.

Are you suicidal? . Exit Coaching from Cults

Causes of Suicide

Although the alienation of modern society may contribute to increased suicidal acts, suicidal depression is more likely following a death of a partner, childlessness, a high standard of living, bankruptcy, or diagnosis of serious mental disorders or physical disease.

Adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) and people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) have a higher risk of suicidal behavior. Also, people (including criminals, police and military) who kill or torture people may suicide after a period of PTSD and/or substance abuse and/or depression.

Medals and citations help people get away with murder.

Suicidal behavior may follow military service, especially if the causes for which people fought are later exposed as lies. Soldiers who deliberately kill innocent people may decide to suicide, unless somehow convinced that their murders were in a higher cause. A similar cause is cult membership, if the cult is shown to be false. A lost sense of life can result in a sense of death. Our Exit Coaching may help.

We can help people find solutions to cross-generational chains of suicides in families, and help prevent suicidal children in future generations, although we generally refer such people to specialists.

Types of Suicide

Suicide bombers are often single men who have identified with victims in their family or community. People who identify with victims may be unable to imagine future happiness. Instead they may experience victim identification - characterized by chronic anger, rage, suspicion and aggression. (We can help people dissolve victim identification).

Similarly, some people identify with dead people in their family or community. Symptoms of the resulting dead person identification often include suicidal fantasies and again we offer solutions.

Occasionally suicide is connected with insurance fraud, where people attempt to provide for their families by dying. As life insurance does not pay for suicidal deaths, a suicide may be contrived to appear as an accidental death or murder.

Attempted suicide may be an appeal for help and attention. Some attempted suicides are accidentally fatal, while some failed attempts of fatal suicides may be dismissed as attention seeking.

Some deaths by misadventure are related to suicidal behavior. Young adults who die while attempting extreme physical or military feats may be in this category. People who do not fear death may be described as having a death wish.

Teen Suicide

A teenager may try to punish parents, family or friends who were perceived as insufficiently interested in the teenager's life. Deaths of parents, celebrities or other role models may also motivate teenagers to consider suicide. As most teenagers are highly aware of each others' moods and actions, a suicide by one teenager may initiate one or more copycat suicides. 

Consequences of Suicide

A fatal suicide usually causes guilt and  grief amongst family and friends; especially for people who feel that they might have prevented it. A suicidal death that becomes taboo in a family may have long-term consequences. A member of the next generation may die to follow the dead person. In systemic coaching we call this dead person identification (DPI) ... and we offer solutions for it.

Although support groups may help suicide survivors, the children or grandchildren of a suicide may need special attention so that they do not identify with the dead ancestor - resulting in identification with a dead person. Although any child or grand-child of a suicide may carry this burden, we notice that the oldest same-sex descendent in subsequent generations may be most at risk.

NOTE: Please consult a health professional if you have suicidal thoughts.

Online Coaching & Mentorship

Suicidal Crisis

If someone hints that he or she may suicide, promptly refer that person to an appropriate health professional. Perhaps telephone a health professional yourself, introduce yourself and your intent, then give the telephone to the maybe-suicidal person. (Telephone a suicide hot-line or the police or a hospital if you don't know a health professional).

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002-2011 All rights reserved.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2011 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers
to help people dissolve emotional blocks, improve relationships and achieve goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... ask for permission to post, publish or teach this work.