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Few people treat human beings like animal pets, yet many people treat pets
as substitutes for people. Family pets may be emotional substitutes for
missing children, absent partners, missing siblings or a missing parents.
We can help you sort out your emotions and relationships with people and pets.
Healing Relationships with Pets
Pets can love you in ways that you may not find in
other relationships. Pets can do wonders for your physical and mental
well-being, and pets can help people who suffer from physical and mental
disease. Pets can be loyal and very friendly when treated well.
Whether they are sleeping by your feet as you relax or play
party poker, or walk by your side when
you stroll across the park, they will treat you like a loved one.
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Pets can give their owners love and loyalty.
Caring for a pet can fulfill a need to care - and provide a sense of belonging
and sharing. Relationships with animals have many of the responsibilities of human
relationships. You can enjoy high emotional rewards by caring for pets.
Caring for animals can improve your health,
reduce anxiety and help you control guilt and stress. Caring for animals can
improve a child's health, social competence and learning. Companion animals
are common in families with children ... and with couples or people
who want children.
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Scientists at the State University of New York
at Buffalo studied the effects of the presence of pets on
stress levels induced by disagreeable tasks. Their findings were
published in
Psychosomatic Medicine.
Space for Love
. Emotional Maturity
. Consequences of Abortion
Godfather or Dog-father: Substitutes
Do you grieve for someone?
Many pets are substitutes for children, especially for infertile or childless
people, or following miscarriages or abortions. Some pets are substitutes
for loving partners. And some people choose pets as substitutes for
friends, after judging all human beings to be less trustworthy.
We coach people explore their relationships to
find profound compassion and self-understanding. Healed hearts have the
courage, strength and space to love again. If a pet is a substitute for a
missing person - a relationship with a pet can be a profound and
important experience.
When our
family dog was killed by a car, we asked you to help our grieving young son ...
and we were surprised when you suggested a family meeting. In our family
meeting, you showed us that our dog was:
- For my wife - a substitute for an aborted child
- For my young son - a substitute for his dead
grandmother (big surprise!)
- For my sister - a substitute for a child that she
always wanted
- For me - a faithful security guard who
could "father" my son
You helped us safely express our feelings
and appreciate each other's needs. Our tragedy became a healing for our whole
family and gave us insights into the loving depth of your systemic coaching. We
are all deeply touched. Rijeka, Croatia |
When is a Pet a Substitute?
Love and friendship with pets can enrich our lives. And
loving pets as substitutes for dead or missing people can also create
relationship chaos and suffering. For example, if a pet is a substitute
for a partner or child, the motivation to enjoy human partnership or
parenthood may drop.
When a pet is a substitute for a missing or dead child,
some children may complain that their parents treat a pet as too special.
However, children who bond to a pet as a substitute for a missing
sibling may demand that the pet have special treatment.
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My veterinarian friend said that dogs
and cats can carry physical diseases of their owners.
Also, dog epilepsy is common, if their owners have huge nervous tension.
Similar to children, in my opinion. Zvolen, Slovakia
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If a pet is a substitute for a partner or a child, your
motivation to create a partnership or a child may drop or vanish. We
help people improve their human relationships and enjoy pets as friendly
animals, while honoring any missing people and building a basis for healthy
relationships.
Sometimes a pet who is a substitute for a person may
exhibit (or predict) characteristics of the person being replaced ... or try to
fulfill some emotional need of the owners, perhaps a need for distraction, a
need to care for a special child or a need to sort out some conflict.
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My girlfriend's dog is hyperactive and
has attention problems, although he is a smart dog and understands orders.
Last week I took her dog for a walk alone, and to my surprise, her dog was
absolutely different ... like older and calmer. Ostrava, Czech
Republic |
When a Beloved Pet Dies
When a pet dies or is killed, the trauma can be severe for
people who felt close to the pet. A pet's death, whether by disease, accident
or old age, can create a sense of loss and grief, and the pain can be intense.
Few people are prepared for suffering the loss of beloved family
members.
After losing a loved pet, create a healing space for
grief and pain. Perhaps you can review your
love for your pet and your attachment to your friend. We can help you replace
your suffering with healing.
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When
my dog died, my suffering was unimaginable. I became ill and I wondered
if I would die. During coaching I found that my dog was a
sort of replacement for my mother's abortion
before I was born. Once I could grieve my dead (I think) sister, I could
relax about my dog and wish her well in whatever doggy afterlife there
may be. Boston, Mass |
We can help you identify your needs
and fulfill your desires. We can help you review your memories, fantasies
and disappointments. We help you accept your loss and express gratitude for
whatever blessings your relationship provided. We help you recover the pleasure
of feeling good in your own skin ... a feeling of wellbeing.
Your next Step?
If you have lost an animal companion, we can help you resolve
feelings of loss, anger and depression. As you gain insight into your
relationship, you can validate your loss, relieve your pain and explore new
possibilities for happiness.
Loss and grief are different for each person. We can help
you work through your grief at your own pace, as you explore how you learned
valuable life lessons with your animal companion.
Relationships that share love connect you
to your core. These connections amplify the sense of loss that is felt when
a loved one or loved pet leaves or dies. Do you want our compassionate
support?
Online Coaching for Emotions and Relationships
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers
2005-2011 All rights reserved. |
