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We offer coaching and training on friendship skills, building
relationships and
dissolving emotional blocks. Do you want more friends?
Most people you know are probably
acquaintances ... at best.
Are you Lonely?
Most people experience loneliness sometimes ... and some
people seek solitude. Some people are
better trained at making and keeping friends. Some people want to be friendly
but feel socially rejected, and some people rarely step out of their comfort
zone to try to make new friends.
People can feel lonely for a variety of reasons, such as
moving to a new city, but how long they stay lonely will reflect their
motivation and
relationship skills. They will have to deal with situations such as having few
friends, not knowing how to be friendly to the people they already know, or not being
accepted by those people whom they want to be friendly with.
Some useful questions to ponder are:
- Do you feel lonely?
- Who really cares about you?
- Who do you really care about?
- Who do you keep in touch with?
- Do you enjoy members of your family?
- Do you enjoy the people you work with?
- Do you participate in community events?
Most people feel lonely sometimes. Being lonely does not mean
that anything is wrong
with you. Loneliness may feel stronger during transitions, and when you're
bored. If you're exploring new paths for
yourself, you may feel lonely as you look for people who share your new
interests.
It may not that you are left out of good
relationships - there may be no good relationships to be
left out of ... most people create and maintain their own. And if you don't
know how ... or why ... to make and keep friends, you may feel rejected or even
depressed.
If you look around and see bad or broken relationships,
if it seems that no good relationships exist, then your relationship
with yourself may also be in desperate need of attention. What you see
outside often reflects what you feel inside.
Perhaps when you were small - you were lead to believe
that you were different - that you were special. Perhaps you bought it.
You tried to be special to please important people, usually your parents.
But there's a price tag, a big price tag. Your happiness.
Loneliness, Isolation and Depression
Are you too busy or too self-absorbed to learn how
and why to spend quality time with others? The consequences come
later ... someday you may be old and realize that you have no quality relationships.
You have become just another lonely old person - maybe
grumpy and bitter. For lonely old people, each day may be a burden. And
you can change.
Loneliness is often a result of circumstances. Older
people may have more difficulty finding or maintaining quality friendships.
Old friendships that weren't nurtured are lost. People may move homes or
die.
Churches are full of lonely people. Some people go to a church
hoping to connect with others and end up even lonelier when they realize the
place they hoped would meet their needs the best fails them.
What Can You Do?
Many lonely people look for friends in churches, evening talks
and seminars. They go to these places hoping to connect with others ... and they
may feel lonelier than before when they realize that places don't create
friends. Note that acting in needy ways will alienate many healthy
people.
What else can you do? First work on yourself
... learn how to be friendly. Second, don't expect friends to share your values.
Friends may misunderstand you, hurt your feelings and let you down. They are not
your parents, employees, lovers or siblings. They may not help you paint your garage or
lend you money. If you want lasting friendships, learn friendship skills.
If you are depressed or anxious ... maybe get counseling or
therapy first. One or more of us can be your professional friends, but we
cannot replace real friends - people with whom you share quality time.
A search for close friends takes time and effort. You can say
"yes" to more invitations or invite people yourself. You will have to stop
analyzing every outing you're invited to. You will have to not judge others, if
you ever hope to find a friend.
We help people get to the
heart of friendship.
Friendship Coaching
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright ©
Martyn Carruthers 2004-2012 All rights reserved. | 
