Our relationship diagnosis helps us rapidly assess and often predict relationship behavior, so that we can better help you evaluate your relationships, goals, beliefs and blocks; and provide much of the information you need to fulfill your goals.

Relationship diagnosis can help you to assess, evaluate and change your relationships. It provides valuable relationship information in a short time that you can correlate, test, confirm and integrate using our other systemic coaching tools.

Goal Diagnosis: "What do you want?"

As you improve at relationship diagnosis, you can include goal diagnosis. Few people can answer the question, "What do you want?" with a single, specific, timed goal with a plan to actualize the goal in ways that benefit (or at least do not harm) all important people involved.

You can use goal diagnosis to identify the potential consequences and side-effects of achieving goals and of the strategies for achieving those goals. Together, relationship diagnosis and goal diagnosis help people find appropriate goals and appropriate strategies for achieving those goals.

You can test the validity of a goal or any step towards its achievement logically, emotionally and non-verbally. You can test the desirability of the consequences of achieving a goal, any verbal or non-verbal objections to that goal (or to the strategy for achieving it) and to success in the goal context.

Psychobiology of Soul . Coaching & Chaos . Quantum Coaching

Relationship Entanglements

By systemic relationship entanglements we refer to unwanted emotional confusion or bonds between people, usually unpleasant feelings or beliefs based on past injustice and guilt. Entanglements can generate enormous suffering, and are both the cause and effect of abnormal relationship behavior. The consequences of entanglements include depression and illness.

Entangled people often ignore or excuse their own problematic behavior. They blame others, complain and justify their entanglements. Most people will suffer long before they seek relationship coaching that can dissolve entanglements. (For most people, suffering seems to be an essential step to health.)

Depression can also follow entanglements with cults and cult-like organizations (e.g. military, multi-level marketing, some government agencies). Soulwork Exit Coaching can help people disentangle from unhealthy groups and organizations, from past counselors or from damage by therapists.

Helping professionals and managers who can recognize the behaviors associated with identity loss can predict problems, get help early and protect people and organizations from unpleasant consequences.

Identity Loss

In any family (or other human system), people are alert to justice and guilt, and respond to perceived injustice following the examples set by parents and grandparents. We refer to some common responses to injustice and disappointments as identity loss: We help people find themselves.

1. Cannot change behavior (Identity Bonds)
2. Cannot express own life choices (Identifications)
3. Cannot make decisions without conflict (Identity Conflict)
4. Cannot describe, feel or express emotions (Lost Resources)

1. Some Beliefs are Bonds

People who stay in unpleasant relationships despite having reasons to leave may be emotionally bonded. Relationship bonds may manifest as helplessness and hopelessness - represented by beliefs such as "I must do as I am told", "I deserve to feel bad" or "I cannot leave".

Bonded beliefs are usually conditions for difficult relationships to continue. Most show up as obsessive thoughts, chronic feelings or compulsive actions. For more, see Bonds.

2. Systemic Identifications

A person may identify with another person who is perceived as having been treated unjustly. (Watching cinema often produces short-term identifications lasting a few minutes). Some common identifications have predictable sets of chronic symptoms:

• Identification with a victim : chronic anger, suspicion, vandalism and possibly violence
• Identification with a dead person : chronic sadness, melancholy and possibly suicide
• Identification with a hero: chronic fear, anxiety attacks and possibly agoraphobia
• Identification with a dependent: chronic guilt, self-sabotage and possibly depression

People with identifications may express emotional outbursts. A search for the emotional triggers often indicates the causative entanglement and the type of identification. Identifications seem to be common and cause much common suffering. Dysfunctional identified people may be diagnosed as psychotic.

3. Systemic Identity Conflict

People with identity conflict may swing between two poles or identities - sometimes within a few minutes. A decision or promise made in one polarity may be forgotten or ignored in the other. In extreme cases, if one polarity is depressed, a person may be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. If the person is amnesic of personality changes, the diagnosis may be multiple personality syndrome.

Although systemic coaching may not be appropriate for diagnosable emotional problems, our coaching can dissolve many unpleasant emotions and dysfunctional behaviors.

4. Systemic Identity Loss

A person who cannot describe or feel emotions may lose sense of self. We call extreme cases Lost Identity (an acute type might be called a nervous breakdown). Lost Identity can result from abuse [see child abuse ], or from being ignored as a child. People with severe identity loss often function in a robot-like manner - they may only participate in life intellectually.

We can help you dissolve emotional blocks and relationship issues

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