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Are you stuck in limiting beliefs?
Are you sabotaging yourself?
Do you want freedom from toxic ideas or fixations?
Are You STUCK in Toxic, Limiting or
Negative Beliefs?
Did you accept the beliefs of your parents
and teachers as THE truth? Their beliefs may now be part of your
emotional baggage. They are also your
heritage, legacy and an entrance fee for life. But some of these beliefs
can limit you and lead to unpleasant consequences. Do you have any beliefs
like these?
- Tomorrow!
... I can put it off ...
- I should ... I need to ...
I have to ...
- I might fail ... People
will think that ...
- If only ... if reality was
different ...
- I can't! ... I am unlucky ...
I am helpless ...
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The roots of our work
include the work of Phineas Quimby, a healer who, over 100 years ago,
was credited with healing thousands of people by changing their beliefs.
Quimby wrote that education and religion were primary causes
of destructive beliefs that manifested as diseases. I would add ...
in first place ... parents. |
In our changework, beliefs refer to
feelings of conviction or certainty about verbal statements - feelings that
support or constrain behavior. Examples of supportive beliefs are:
- My life is important
- I can accomplish my goals
- My life has meaning and purpose
- I can enjoy being with family and friends
- I can find mentors whom I wish to
emulate
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Another root of Soulwork is the
huna healing
once used by
native Hawaiians.
Kahuna Daddy Bray referred to thoughtforms ... black bags of emotions
and beliefs held in the body which could be healed through
ho'oponopono
(a spiritual family therapy). Exploring thoughtforms lead to my work with
belief-bonds. |
Many constraining beliefs were uncritically accepted
from other people - particularly from parents, teachers and people respected as
authorities. Examples of limiting beliefs include:
- I cannot leave a bad relationship
- I am isolated, lost, lonely or disconnected
- I feel unpleasant emotions which do not make
sense
- I cannot find a sense of life, or a
meaningful life purpose
- I am stuck to people or to places that I want
to leave or avoid
As a temporary fix, if you notice that you think or say
sentences like these, first OBSERVE what you are doing, then STOP and CHANGE
the words to something more supportive.
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If you change
limiting beliefs, you can change obsessions
and compulsions into ordinary temptations! |
We help people change limiting beliefs,
even taboo beliefs. (Taboo implies that people may not
allow themselves to recognize their beliefs.) We coach
people to explore and change the roots of beliefs which
underlie self-sabotage,
obsessions and compulsions.
Many Beliefs are Bonds
What do you HAVE to believe to remain in your
job? What MUST you believe to stay in your marriage? What SHOULD you believe
to be a good citizen? What are you REQUIRED to believe to participate in a
religion? And if you find that your beliefs limit your happiness and success,
how can you change?
Many times we hear, "I want to be
healthy, but not at the expense of changing my beliefs about ... xxx",
where xxx is often a religious dogma or life philosophy or family
tradition. Some beliefs seem to be more important than health ... and some
seem beliefs seem to be more important than life.
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Of course I want to be healthy - but not
if it means changing my beliefs, changing my philosophy or changing
my lifestyle.
Heard from many clients ... Martyn |
The shared experiences and beliefs that
bond family members seem to be some of the strongest relationship bonds
that humans can experience. While we may need strong family bonds to
function in a society of families, many people appear to be bonded by
unpleasant or toxic beliefs.
Some organizations require members to
develop rigid beliefs that bond them to some political party, military
organization, network marketing, religious cult or a sporting team.
Irrational beliefs support compliance and manipulation.
The strongest beliefs seem to be based on
a shared sense of identity. Some beliefs seem to be substitutes
for identity - and hence a form of identity loss. We find that
dysfunctional behavior is often based on toxic beliefs that support
feelings of connection and identity to dysfunctional people.
My name is BOND ...
Psychological obsessions can be conscious or
unconscious. People are aware of conscious beliefs - and people are normally
not aware of unconscious (taboo) beliefs that may influence your
perception of yourself and your relationships with important people.
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Many people manage the consequences of
abuse and trauma by creating
unpleasant limiting beliefs about themselves
or about the world generally! |
Relational bonds encourage you to cling to beliefs,
obsessions and compulsions. People often describe the more conscious relationship
bonds as colored tubes or ropes or shadows between themselves and others. This
synesthesia provides information about the nature of the bonds.
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Many marketing programs are developed
by psychologists who
want to install beliefs, obsessions and compulsions
in you!
Don't let them succeed! Flush them out! |
Taboo relationship beliefs are often localized in the
body - in organs or muscles - and seem to be associated with symptoms and
diseases that may be called psychosomatic. Dissociated relationship
beliefs (we call them bonds) may also be perceived near the
body - people spontaneously describe them as blocks, walls
or dark clouds etc.
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There is a dark wall / barrier / space /
hole between me and my partner.
Heard many, many times during coaching |
Relationship beliefs can determine what feels
true or right. People bonded by beliefs to ineffective or dysfunctional
people may behave strangely during times of stress (work or family problems,
etc), when their symptoms prevent normal functioning. Many people cannot live happy lives until they change their bonds and beliefs. They may be
habitual liars - to themselves and others.
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Signs of Toxic, Limiting & Negative Beliefs |
- cannot define specific goals
- cannot describe thoughts clearly
- irrational beliefs about other people
- irrational obsessions or compulsions
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- endless abstract complaints
- chronic psychosomatic disease
- impulsive - poor impulse control
- psychosomatic muscle problems
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Many people are damaged during relationships with
well-meaning parents,
teachers,
mentors and
therapists. The consequences of relationship
damage (experienced as abandonment, abuse or betrayal) often include
fixed limiting beliefs, obsessions, compulsions and psychosomatic
symptoms
that compensate for perceived injustice or betrayal.
We coach people to recognize and change
negative and limiting beliefs;
and to gain lasting relief from unpleasant emotions.
Online Coaching & Mentorship for Limiting Beliefs
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright ©
Martyn Carruthers 2005-2012
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