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As young adulthood ends, many people worry
about unfulfilled goals and aging bodies.
They may feel trapped, worthless or bored
with a horrible sense that time is running out.
They may describe inner
chaos and a feeling that they must do something extreme
to regain their sanity, passion and control (and perhaps to cling to their
youth).
You don't have to suffer.
We can help you evaluate your life and tame your demons.
We can help you
improve your
relationships and define new goals.
Solutions for Middle Age Crisis (Temporary Insanity)
Is midlife a time of achievement and satisfaction? The children are growing up and retirement is on the horizon.
For some
people, this part of life's journey can be a time of
despair, a time of
disillusionment,
emotional breakdown and
depression ... and some people make terrible decisions
at this time.
Sooner or later, most of us will find ourselves
facing significant transitions or major life decisions. Some people call this
transition a dark night of the soul.
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Your article on midlife crisis shocked me.
I thought that my problems were unique.
While I was happy to find you, I was disappointed that my sense of doom was
rather common and that you knew me so well, never having met me.
Edinburgh, Scotland |
During middle age, most people
re-evaluate their lives and review their ambitions. They may question their
accomplishments and contemplate
the approach of their own deaths. They feel
whether or not they are content and they often compare what was previously important
with what they want now.
People who realize that they have not fulfilled
their (often idealistic) younger dreams may experience a crisis: commonly called
a midlife crisis as it is more commonly experienced by people aged
30 to 50. During this period, many people feel that their
career prospects are limited and that their identities have been subordinated to
their partners, work and children.
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You called it temporary insanity and
you weren't joking! I thought a mid life crisis was a joke, but I spent the last
few months on the edge of a nervous breakdown, with inner demons urging me to
leave my lovely wife, my work and even my country. Graz, Austria |
This crisis may be intensified by an
empty nest, referring to the loneliness that many parents feel when a last or only child leaves home. The role of parent
to children is nearly over, and the
role of grand-parent may not have began.
Have you reached a phase of your life
where you feel that you merely exist, without peace or joy? Has your life become a
routine of habits and distractions, perhaps centered around TV or computers? Did you dedicate your life to your career, yet now you cannot enjoy your successes, your
family or your
community?
Please consider these questions:
- Do you seek inner peace?
- Do you want to feel effective?
- Do you long for more adventure?
- Do you yearn to feel in love again?
- Do you want to feel passion instead of
routine?
- Are you reevaluating and changing your life goals?
- Do you want to regain your creativity or
enthusiasm?
If you find yourself saying "Yes! Yes! Yes!", you may
be feeling dissatisfied with your life, your age and your achievements. This is a dangerous time
if you respond with despair and anger, or make hasty life-changing decisions.
Some words cannot be ignored and some actions cannot be undone.
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I was lost in strong
emotions, strange ideas, weird theories and peculiar beliefs.
I acted
like a mid-life teenager and made some very bad decisions
that I
deeply regret. Thanks for helping me put my life in order so that I can move
on. |
Common Reactions to Mid Life Crisis
- Obsessive behavior
- Taking financial risks
- Buying a powerful car
- Starting dangerous sports
- Leaving a partner or family
- Joining a spiritual community
- Leaving stable work to travel abroad
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I have most of what I ever wanted. I
have a wonderful partner and great children. And I was
considering leaving my family, to travel abroad to some unknown place where
some soul mate just might be waiting for me.
Thanks for coaching me.
London, UK |
If parts of you feel dissatisfied, confused or
discontent, we can coach you to integrate your parts ... and their
resources. We can help you integrate your passions into your life, and make
the changes that you yearn for. We enjoy coaching people
who want to make their lives more worthwhile.
Winter of Discontent
Western cultures often celebrate youth - which may
explain in part why midlife crisis is more common in Europe,
North America and Australia (it does not seem so prevalent in
Asia and Africa). There are many reasons for feeling confused and
discontent during middle-age. Some are:
- You realize that old age and inevitable death are approaching.
- Your life may have become a set of routines that you do not enjoy.
- The distractions that you liked when you
were younger are no longer fun.
- You cannot answer questions such as,
"What is my life for? or What is my legacy?"
We can help you
resolve emotional blocks, solve relationship problems and end unwanted habits. We can help
you dissolve enmeshments with problematic people and ancestor's
weaknesses. We can take time to understand you, and help you find
your emotional freedom and rebuild your sense of life.
Do you want to change your
habits and build a happier life?
We can support you every step of your way.
Put a Mid-Life Crisis Behind You
Have you given up on your dreams? Do you feel despair or bereft of hope? Do you feel
isolated or alone? Did you try to do everything by yourself? We can help you ...
- Discover what makes you happy now.
- Assess your
values, strengths and beliefs.
- Evaluate your priorities and balance your life.
- Know your goals and build a vision for
what you want.
- Dissolve conflicts between who you are now - and who you
once were.
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I had a huge conflict about whether to stay
with my family or to freely travel around the world. I was elated when you
helped me sort that out, but then I felt huge sadness for my lost youth and
huge anger for wasting time feeling sad! You said that such conflicts often
come in threes ... what will be the
third? Frankfurt, Germany |
Do you want to start life again? Do you have good ideas,
but you procrastinate or sabotage yourself? Please don't make life-changing
decisions without researching the consequences. We can help you keep your
goals and plans alive ... or create new goals ... and achieve them.
From Midlife Crisis to Peaceful Maturity
A Midlife Crisis is often a period of
dramatic self-doubt during middle age. It may
occur as people sense the passing of their youthful energy and strength, and
feel the reality of approaching old age. During this period, middle aged adults may
become predictably unpredictable.
The "9" years can be particularly dangerous! Ages
(and especially birthdays) of 29, 39, 49 and 59 are
symbolic of life changes, and may trigger suffering and depression instead
of pleasure and pride.
Suddenly there may be an extreme desire to significantly
change everyday life, such as a career change, a marriage change, expensive
purchases (a sports car, perhaps), or physical appearance. Some people have a
sudden huge desires for intimate or sexual affairs,
or to feel in love again.
What do you really want? And, if possible, how can
you get what you really want? Here are some steps that may help you manage a middle-life crisis:
1. Resolve Midlife Relationships and Relationship Conflicts
Perhaps use these questions as topics for meditation or contemplation:
- Are you part of a healthy family?
- Do you enjoy an intimate partnership?
- Do you want to improve your present relationships?
- Which of your relationships are helpful
and supportive - and which are not?
2. Find Solutions for Mid-life Emotions
Some people waste huge time and energy on unproductive issues:
reliving earlier disappointments again and again, daydreaming about past
relationships
or dwelling on how they should have lived their lives differently. We
help often people deal with:
- Anger: aggression, rage, frustration, blame, irritation, suspicion, paranoia
- Depression;
lack of interest in activities; low-self-esteem; thoughts about
self-harm
- Conflict: mood swings, volatile changing emotions,
simultaneous incompatible goals
- Sadness; loneliness; frequent crying;
mood swings; feeling helpless and/or hopeless
- Fear: anxiety, nervousness;
panic attacks; fears and/or phobias; social fears, shyness
- Dissociated: feeling empty, lost, aware of hidden or
missing qualities or forgotten skills
3. Solve Middle Age Behaviors
Avoid withdrawing into isolation. We can help you be assertive
without being perfectionist. Manage any hyperactive and irritable reactions. Avoid aggressive or
self-harming behavior. Let your lower sex drive lead to your increased
sensitivity and intimacy ... rather than to frustration and boredom.
4. Resolve Midlife Cognitive Issues
We help people find solutions for concentration;
disorientation /or confusion; excessive fantasies or daydreaming;
preoccupation or dissociation; chaotic and obsessive thoughts, etc.
5. Resolve Midlife Environmental Situations
How is your home; your work; your family?
Do you have
a history of mental illness, or of medical operations or serious illness? Do you
suffer from
any alcohol and/or drug abuse? Perhaps we help you dissolve the consequences of
previous trauma or abuse?
6. Make Better Decisions
We can help you can plan your midlife or
retirement. What improves your sense of lasting happiness? What
increases your pleasure of living and your sense of life?
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All my life I loved women.
Nothing was better than the chase. When that excitement began to
fade, I felt empty. My life lost purpose. You helped me sort out my emotions, recover other interests and begin worthwhile
projects. New York |
We help people deal
with the emotional turmoil
and mental chaos
commonly called a mid-life crisis.
Online Coaching & Mentorship for Mid-Life Crisis
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Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2007-2012 All rights reserved | 
